Valentine's Day
by Sofia Bee
Summary: On the dreadful cliche "holiday", with Tony determined to piss her off, Natasha has a heart to heart with the big green monster.


**Title:** Valentine's Day  
**Author:** Sofia Bee  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Characters**: Natasha & Bruce Banner (mainly)  
**Rating:** T (I just cant imagine myself writing anything K friendly :O )  
**Summary**: On the dreadful cliche "holiday" Natasha has a heart to heart with the big green monster.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

* * *

She was going to KILL Tony. Probably in 1 of the 26 ways she could kill a man with just a finger, and she was going to make it hurt, hurt extremely.

It was February 14, a.k.a. Valentine's Day and the court jester that is Tony Stark had made it his mission to make Natasha miserable that day. It was bad enough that they had to endure Tony 24 hours a day now that they were living in "The Avengers Tower", but today, on this day, this dreadful Hallmark holiday, Tony had every living creature in that Tower bestow gifts to Natasha to commemorate the occasion. Naturally, Natasha was the only female that would have to endure such cruelty. Tony would throw anybody off the tower that dared approach Pepper. Pepper was off limits, and therefor, in Tony's mind, Natasha had no limits.

He was going to hurt the second she got her hands on him.

Her morning started by getting startled into consciousness when JARVIS blared "Run the world" by Beyonce. Surely Valentine's Day was the day men worshipped women, wether it be to swoon the wives enough to get off their husbands' back for the day, or to swoon a woman into bed, whichever was more convenient. It was in that moment that she wondered if JARVIS was water and shock proof.

After an incredibly long shower, Natasha made her way to the kitchen, making a bee-line for the coffee machine. Coffee would be her only lover of choice for the day. Thats the thing about coffee; as long as it was hot, it could never disappoint. JARVIS had greeted her with a "Good Morning Miss Romanoff" and she was about to yell at him when a rather large box caught her attention. It was adorned with a big red box and a large tag that read:

**_To: Natasha_**

**_From: Tony_**

**_May this gift be a token of my affection. May you feel as much for it as I do. Love ya Little Red Riding Hood!_**

Hesitantly she opened the box, and sure enough, once unwrapped she growled as if she had been insulted. Inside was a cardboard cut out of Tony, standing strong and proud, and wrapped around his arm and leg like a lost monkey was a life sized cardboard cutout of herself with an unusually large ass and breasts. Her lips had also been inflated to look like Angelina Jolie...or a baboon.

Even though she scoffed, she had to admit that the gift made her laugh a little. The gift would be perfect for Clint to use as target practice when he got back from Serbia. Truth be told, she missed him. She was sure that if he wasn't sent on a mission away from them, that she wouldn't have to endure the ridicule that she knew would continue.

"Natasha! I come to you as a God bearing gifts!" a voice roared behind her.

Natasha turned around and her eyes went wide at the sight of Thor and his "gift" in his arms.

"My good dear Lord," she exclaimed as the coffee cup went crashing to the floor.

* * *

**_3 hours later:_**

The ridicule seemed to have ended. Natasha had successfully scared the bejesus out of anyone that dared approached her with anything that vaguely seemed like a gift from afar. Not even JARVIS dared say anything again after she threatened to rip out all his wires, assuming he was connected to wires. Her threats haven't fallen on deaf ears, not even Director Fury dared call her in for briefing.

She walked down the hall from the living room and up 2 stories to reach the laboratory, or as Tony called it **"The Smart People's Playground".** Unsurprisingly she found who she was looking for. It was none other than Dr. Bruce Banner. Even though they were all on down time, Bruce was always working, always in the lab. Natasha was never really sure if he did it to keep himself calm and occupied, or if he just didn't have anything better to do. Tony had recently developed a habit of poking Bruce with fire, lasers, and pointy objects in a bid to prove that he could anger "The Other Guy" enough to make an appearance. Destruction of the tower seemed only secondary to Tony.

He was so lost in his work that he didn't even notice that he was no longer alone in his playground.

"Hi Bruce," she said after a moment, not wanting to startle him. He looks up and removes his glasses and offers her a small smile. "Hey Natasha," he replies. He takes in her demeanor and he chuckles a bit.

"I take it Tony was successful in his Valentine's Day mission with you," he says. Natasha groaned and dropped herself on the sofa that was in the corner of the room. She seemed more annoyed than angry, partially because she was too tired to be angry. Its no secret to the team that she had trouble sleeping after hard missions, but she slept even less when Clint wasn't by her side. Tony was smart to plan his scheme accordingly.

"Enlighten me. How has your day been?" Bruce asked. Leaning against the desk, he stood across from her, taking in her features. He dared not admit it, but he liked looking at her. Not so much in a longing way, it was just nice to have a female around to lighten the intense amount of testosterone that lingered about.

"Well, Tony got me a life sized version of himself." Bruce tried to suppress his snort. _Typical Tony._

"Thor offered me a slaughtered cow to honor me as a Goddess with passion and fertility. Tony convinced him that an offering to the lady of the house was tradition on Valentine's Day." Her hands tangled in her messy curls at that point. The sight of a bloody cow in the middle of the kitchen in Thor's arms was enough to make her hurl again. What was sadder was the actual look of hope and accomplishment on Thor's face.

"Further more, he offered me a mating dance under the lightning and thunder storm of our union tonight. I shudder to find out if I should be clothed or not," she continued.

"I'm kind of jealous," Bruce shot back, hoping it would make her smile. It did.

"The Captain gave me a home video to prove he could bench press 10 times my weight, and that he would fight in my honor if we ever have another war, in return for my hand." She flinched at the memory. Steve was sweet. Honorable, but completely clueless to modern day romance and Tony's schemes. She was starting to think he was a virgin.

"I'm kind of surprised I didn't find a parade of battered and Hulk smashed puppies in my room," she laughed as she looked up at Bruce. He was chuckling a bit. it was nice to see him smile, he didn't do it often enough.

"Hey, the day isn't over yet." His teasing garnered a shocked, and then deathly glare. He raised his hands in mock surrender at the look on her face.

"Tony tried to get me on the bandwagon. We were threatened within an inch of our lives."

"What in God's name could be worse than me killing all of you in retaliation?" she challenged, an eyebrow raised in curiosity as she leaned back on the couch.

"Pepper's cooking," Bruce informed. Natasha backed off, even she didn't have the willpower to endure Pepper's culinary adventures. You know the world is ending if Thor is unable to eat the "food" put in front of him.

There was a moment of silence.

"Thank you for the flowers, they are beautiful," she softly said.

"You're welcome. Barton asked me to get them for you because he knew he wouldn't be back on time," Bruce he had turned away he would have seen Natasha shake her head.

"I know the bouquet of daisies and daffodils are from Clint. I also know the bouquet of lillies are from you." She watched him as he shyly put his glasses back on and fumbled with some contraption. If her eyes weren't playing tricks on her, she could swear that he was kind of blushing. "What makes you think they are from me?" he dared ask, although the tone of his voice gave it away to anyone that paid attention.

"Two reasons," she began, standing up and walking towards him. "You are the only one that Clint would trust enough to ask to do this for me." He shrugged at that. "And secondly, you are the only guy on this team selfless enough to do it without your ego making it clear that it was from you." The second bouquet bore no card or declaration of dedication and didnt reek of Tony-ism.

He wasn't aware that she was right next to him until she reached over and placed her hand atop of his. Looking up, their eyes met and she offered him a warm and genuine smile of gratitude. "Thank you," she softly whispered. He slowly nodded. She backed away, sensing that her nearness was making him a bit uncomfortable.

"It was actually meant as an apology."

She was back on the couch when he made his statement. She eyed him curiously at that.

"I never actually got to properly apologize to you, You know, for almost ripping you apart that day when I turned on the hellcarrier," he admitted. Shame was still evident in his voice at the revelation. Sympathy washed over her, it had been almost 6 months, but she could tell the guilt still plagued him.

"Bruce, I know you are not responsible when you are The Hulk. Its alright. Thor beat you up pretty good in my honor." Her attempt to cheer him up didn't work. His face was still laden with guilt and she could sense that the burden on his shoulders were still weighing him down.

"Before I completely turned, I, me, BRUCE, saw the look in your eyes. The look of complete and utter fear. Its the same look Betty gave me. I really wish to never have that look come from you or any woman for that matter, directed at me again. I really am sorry." His apology was sincere and full of heart break. She wasn't sure if the apology was solely directed at her, or if somehow subconsciously he was apologizing to Betty. The assassin in her knew not to question him at the moment. Natasha merely looked at him, and offered him a nod when he did look at her. A sign that she had accepted his apology.

"Do you ever think about seeking her out?" She asked cautiously. Hitting a nerve or a soft spot was not something Bruce needed at the moment. He was actually getting some peace and quiet, as Tony was too busy rolling around with Pepper to annoy him.

Bruce shrugged. Abandoning his previous activities, he came to sit on the couch next to Natasha. "Sometimes," he began. "But for right now, I don't think its a good idea. I still need to figure myself out. But I do hope to one day reach out to her."

There was another moment of silence.

"So, why daisies and daffodils? No offense, you don't really seem like the flower type of girl, and Barton was very particular about the choice of flowers." Natasha accepted his change of topic. She laughed at his statement. Twas true, a master ninja assassin that could kill with the snap of her fingers isn't really the flower type, least of all yellow daisies.

"Not really, but Clint and I like to do stupid things like that every now and then. Brings some normalcy to our lives here," she offered back. She sighed as she was about to share a intimate part of her that only Clint knew. But she knew she could trust Bruce. "And my mother used to plant only yellow flowers in her yard. The sunflowers never really quite made it, but the daffodils and daisies did." The childish smile on her face came with a little blush, and Bruce realized that she was a lot more sensitive then she let on.

"Why lillies?" she asked back. Now it was Bruce's turn to divulge. He sighed and nodded his head, a little chuckle escaping his throat.

"Betty's favorite flower."

The chatter or Thor and Tony arguing on how to BBQ the slaughtered cow interrupted their conversation. A thud of the hammer, presumable, or maybe hopefully on Tony's covered head echoed through the entire building.

Natasha sighed as she got up. "I think we need to go break up the children," she groaned to which Bruce laughed. "Yes mother," he replied as they headed out the room.

"So...have you figured out yet if you are going to go naked in your dance with Thor tonight?"

He narrowly missed the karate kick to the back of his head.

* * *

I went to watch the Avengers AGAIN last night. I needed to shut my Hulk muse up.

Please review if you liked it.


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